Jashinism at its finest
by ShaSor
Summary: I don't know when, nor do I remember exactly how I got here. What I do know, however, is that Jashin saved me. The saviour that pulled me out of Hell, the God that let me loose on this unsuspecting world. Sadly, I cannot thank him in person, so these pitiful sacrifices will have to do. Someday... everyone will know of him. Dead and alive.


**Well, hello there.**

 **ADDITIONAL WARNINGS:**

 **-Insanity, blood, gore, cursing, torture, graphic depictions of violence and a not-so-mentally-sound main character.**

 **\- English is not my native language, so excuse the occasional spelling/ grammar mistakes I will inevitably make in my most recent effort in writing a fanfic. Even though, I would appreciate it if my readers would point out any mistakes made for the betterment of the reading experience.**

 **\- My updates are sporadic and oftentimes will make no sense. You might encounter a lucky double update or even a silence of three months. Be warned, for only the very patient will be able to suffer through this.**

 **MORE ADDITIONAL WARNINGS MIGHT BE ADDED ON LATER.**

 **Enjoy.**

 **Or not.**

 **Either way, I will care regardless.**

 **Edited: May 2th 2019**

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Chapter 1: Not Hell, but obviously Oblivion

Pain. Endless pain and suffering as far as my soon-to-be-blinded eyes can see. Fire and brimstone, they say. I want to scoff at those pitiful, unsuspecting mortals. Fire and brimstone would have been better than this soul-chilling cold that permeated everything in this place.

I touch what I suspect is my arm, trying to rub some warmth into them. Was I succeeding? I don't know, but it's a nice feeling- being able to try. My limbs have become numb a long time ago. My body is slowly failing me and my sight will soon join my nerves in nothingness. Soon, this grey Hell will become black as night and my sight, limited as it is, will offer me comfort no more.

Everything I took for granted once upon a time, is being taken away from me. Even time, a concept I had no idea could give me comfort, is being taken away. Leaving me wondering, despairing over how long I have been in this cold, cold place.

Everything is spinning around me, but it might not be. This space is so loud, yet too quiet. I feel nothing, but at the same time- my senses are overloaded. My thoughts seem to echo through my head. Every thought repeating until it eventually fades from my tired mind.

I want to scream, I want to shout and cry and complain and _rage_ at the unfairness of it all.

But I cannot. I can't do anything but drift in this space for what feels like centuries.

 _I hate this hatethis hatethishate this thisthisthisthis..._

I truly despise this place. Insanity is coming dangerously close to me, but strangely, it sounds less alarming than it should be. Maybe I've already passed over the line to insanity?

I try to close off my thoughts, raising my hands to- what I think are- my ears.

It offers nothing, it doesn't muffle my painfully loud thoughts and only reminds me of what I once had. A healthy, functional and most importantly- _warm_ body.

Desperation claws at my insides, going from my gut all the way to my throat. An itch, a need to let something of myself be heard, to be _seen._ I wanted _proof_ that I was still alive. But the space that I was confined in was slowly, but surely taking away everything that made me _me._ Touch, warmth, sight, sound, taste- even my mind is slowly being worn down, heading towards insanity at neck-breaking speeds. Or maybe that's just me succumbing to everything being taken away from me? Maybe that's just me overcompensating for everything I lack.

I scream into the nothingness and I hear nothing in return. Not an echo, not my voice. Just an obvious, stretched-out silence that grates on my non-existent nerves. Somehow, without my noticing, my eyes had closed themselves. I blink at the blackness before me. _So I had not closed them after all closed them after all after all afterallafterallallallall... Man do I hate this echo hate this echo...echo..._

I laugh, hard and a bit hysterical- I felt that laugh deep in my heart, even though no sound escapes my mouth. I know, deep down, that that manic laugh bubbles up from my stomach, to my throat and out between my lips that are- no doubt- stretched into a face-splitting grin. I had been hanging precariously over the edge of the cliff-of-sanity, clutching at it with all my might and now- I have finally fallen.

So, I laugh, because what else am I to do in this Hell? I laugh and I laugh and I laugh... until somehow, I can hear echoes of my voice all around me. Loud and hoarse, but very much _real_. I perk up as soon as I hear my voice echoing. This time, it was different. It was not my thoughts echoing in my mind. This time, I actually heard my voice out loud. Does this mean...?

"WOOOOOOOOHHHAAAAA" I grin as I hear my voice echo around me for the first time in what feels like forever. I kind of feel like doing it again. _What's holding me back?_ I shrug and smirk, opening my mouth. "HEEEEEEELLLLOOOOOOOOOOO-"

 **"Silence."** A second voice cuts off mine and echoes through the empty space. The voice carries weight, heavy and full of wrath. I turn my head around, fruitlessly trying to look for that person with my sightless eyes. Though something in my head tells me, that I would not have found anyone in here anyways.

"Who's there?!" My question didn't resemble a question as much as it did a demand, but the voice was kind enough to answer me anyway. **"I am Jashin, God of Pain and Suffering."** The voice struck a chord in me, laced with power as it was- it awed me. A _real_ God, who would've thought? But that awe was short-lived as fear soon replaced it. God of Pain and Suffering... Is he the cause of my suffering?

It seems like the entity read my mind, for he replies to my unvoiced question. **"I am not the cause of all of... this."** I can almost imagine the God waving his hand disdainfully at this empty space. **"I am surprised you even managed to survive in Oblivion for as long as you have, mortal. Everything in here gets swallowed, eradicated- it doesn't matter who or what you are. Even I, Jashin, am beginning to feel the strain. It is curious that you, a feeble human soul, have survived for as long as you did. Truly extraordinary."**

I felt like a particularly pretty bug under the careful scrutinization of a six-year-old kid. I snort, that doesn't really bode well for me.

 **"Don't take that tone with me if you ever want to get out of Oblivion, mortal."** The voice sounded irked, not happy with being compared to a six-year-old human.

I had forgotten where we were in my exhilaration, my discovery of _sense_ and _self_. I had felt so _alive_ that I forgot I still need to get out of this Hell. "Please," I whisper fervently, grasping with my numb hands into the nothingness before me. Ready to beg and plead and offer anything, _everything_ to get out of here. "Oh Great Jashin, God of Pain and Suffering, get me out of this Hell. I'll worship the very air you breathe, the ground you walk on- _please_." I would have kneeled if I could. Oh God, I want out. Jashin is my way out. I _needed_ out.

 **"This is not Hell, human. Does this look anything like Hell to you?"** The voice spoke to me as if I was but the dirt beneath his feet, yet his voice sounded like Heaven to me. His voice was like a light in this dark, forsaken place. I could listen to Him forever and ever- just get me out, let me _feel_ again. Even if it's pain- anything is better than this nothingness, this empty, fucked up place.

 **"Let me offer you a deal, human."** The voice said and I perk up. A deal? **"You get to escape Oblivion, and in exchange, you will... assist me."**

"Of course, Mighty Jashin-sama! Deal! DealDealDEAL!" I didn't care about what 'assisting' Jashin would mean, the only thing on my mind was that I was getting out!

 **"Would you agree, even though assisting me would mean making other humans suffer? I know for a fact that most humans find hurting their own kind... repulsing. Of course, if one ignores wars and the like."** Jashin-sama's voice was laced with slight amusement.

My grin must've been really fucking freaky right in that moment. "I don't really care, Jashin-sama."

 **"Good."** Jashin-sama's reply was curt, but I could feel that he was pleased with my answer. Before I could say anything else, a single pinprick of light entered the corner of my eye. It hovered in that spot for a moment, not doing anything. "Blessed light." I breathed and stared at it, I stared until it hurt too much to look at it for much longer. Still, I looked even though it hurt, because it was _light_ and it is _magnificent_. Through my tears- _I can cry now!_ \- I can see the light spreading rapidly, tendrils of white shot across the black sky like lightning. Illuminating the place I've been in ever since my death.

Voices called out to me, both friendly and hostile, but oh so _familiar_. Their voices were muffled, like my head was held beneath the surface of a pond. Snippets of my life flashed before my eyes, almost blinding me with their colours and drowning me with the amount of information I received all at once. I gasped as the blackness was chased away and I was suddenly pulled above the water. And like the droplets sliding off of me, so too, did the cold that had clung to me all this time.

Embraced in warmth, the last thing that I saw before I, inevitably, fell back into- a different kind of- oblivion, was a glowing red symbol of an upside-down Y enclosed in a circle. A red mist hovering ominously at the edge of my vision.


End file.
